Thursday, July 17, 2008

Once Upon A Time - Part 3 - He Turns And Looks At Me

Dude, first things first. I need to clarify a few things. The secret that Brody had told the whole class was not a bad secret. It was actually a good secret and it was about my career and I had hid it cos I did not want to blow my own trumpet. And why did I not want to blow my own trumpet - well just cos. And when Brody told the class about the texts, he did not say it
in a harsh way like yelling out faggot and all that. He just said it with a smile. And it was just
this fact that he told the class about the texts mortified me. So please spare him. Lol. And to
give you a sneak peek. He is one of the very few people I trust. And I only trust three people.
Now back to the story:

I was mortified that Brody told the whole class about the texts. And I thought, in no time the whole school would know and that would be it. I was coming up with tons of reasons in my head about how I was going to deny it. I also vowed to never see Brody again and never speak to him. But he just kept running after and asking me to forgive him. He was relentless and I was not about to give in. Well for a week, at least. Or something like that. Brody would not stop saying sorry until I would speak to him. He just kept going “Jake please stop being mad at me” and “Jake pleaseeeeee speak to me”. And I think after a few days or a week, I gave in and started speaking to him again. And we were back to being friends. And being in love.

About him telling everyone in our class about the texts and everything, no one took it seriously, so no one even spoke about it and people just forgot the whole thing. Phew.

This happened a lot between us. You know where I get mad at him for something and I don’t talk to him and every time he would come running and I would forgive and then we would speak. Ya I think it was a form of flirting between us. And it felt good.

Like I said, all of this happened a long time ago, so I don’t remember things in their sequential order. But soon we became closer to each other. He would randomly hug me and all that but he did the same thing to his other friends. But not as much as he did to me.

More beautiful things were to come. And I felt it everywhere.

A lot had started to happen. We would flirt all the time and people had begun to take notice. Sometimes I would be passing by with a group of guys and Brody would shout my name out from a first floor window and I would just ignore him and he would threaten to pour water on me if I did not look at him. I know how funny it sounds, but it just felt like something - something different.

At times, I would be by the school gate and he would come by and he would playfully hide his face with his folder and I would smile. Then he would look at me and smile. (Dude, you guys better not be laughing right now). Somehow people had started to take notice. And soon, they started jokingly saying that me and Brody were going out. They would jokingly say, that me and Brody were in love with each other. But everyone was kidding and so it did not matter much.
Soon time came for school to be over and for us to prepare for our exams. Before our exams began, there was an assembly at school to let us know that from next year onwards, people could choose if they wanted to continue with school or not, or if they wanted to change schools. So something was certain, a lot of our friends that were with us now, would probably not be among us next year.

Everyone felt it. It was a kind of sad feeling and there were kids shouting out who were the only people they would miss. Some were hugging each other. Then I saw Brody. And I looked at him. And he stared at me too. There was a moment of silence. Then we said our goodbyes and he just kept looking at me. I started talking to other kids and he started to walk home with a friend of his. He was about a few meters away from me. Then you know how like in movies they will be like “oh they will turn back and look at me if they love me” well I started thinking the same. I kept thinking it “If he loves me he will look back at me again”. What happened? He looked back and shouted my name, “Jake, Jake”. And I pretended to not hear and just went on talking to my other friends. Then he kept on walking with his friend. I shouted his name out, “Brody, Brody”. He looked back and I said, “Bye” and he said, “Bye”. I smiled and he smiled too. I know so beautiful yet so funny. And just at the same time, a friend of mine laughed and imitated me and said “Brody, Brody” but he added to it and said, “Brody, Brody I love you”. Brody just smiled more and I smiled more too.

I don’t know if people noticed it or not, but something was happening. Then I started walking towards the school gate with some dudes and we were just playfully joking about. And Brody passed by with some dudes and he just looked at the other dudes joking about and did not say anything. And then he looked at me and said, “Jake, Bye - come back ok”. I nodded and I said, “Ya, Bye”. We both smiled and then my heart felt it again. It felt the love feeling.

I had thought of leaving for another school. A much more prestigious school as it would help me to get into a better college. But I thought I have time to think about it as we have still have exams to finish. So I did not give it much thought.

I felt alive. Just like a desert feels alive when rain falls. If only you could see the steam that was evaporating as the drops of rain touched the heated land. I still had to get over the exams. But had to make a decision. The decision that would change my life in many different ways.
P.S. My aim works now. My aim is secretblogging. And only readers please. Dont add me if you have not read anything but just want to chat. Only readers.


RandomCommenter said...

Awww. Much lighter post than the previous lol. I didn't think teen movie cliches ever happened in real life, but you two went thru like 1/2 of them haha. Thank you for responding to comments so well.

P.S. Thx for clearing up some things he doesn't seem like a total ass anymore. Can't wait for the next part.

secret blogger said...

Response to comments -

randomcommenter - thank you for your comments buddy. teen movies are inspired by true life are they not? and like I said Brody is the one of the very few people I trust in my world and I dont trust many people. Tune in for more. And thanks for commenting so well. x

dan said...

SWEET post. oh man you're killing me, it's like in a movie where you are shouting at the screen, just talk to the guy, ask about the summer, ask about which school next year... ha
hope you're having a good summer and feeling better. need to email ya.

secret blogger said...

response to comments -

dan - firstly let me tell you that whenever I see a comment from you or see an email from you - I just feel happy. you were my first reader. my godfather of the blogging world who let the world know about me. im so glad you like the post. and im sorry about the whole watching a movie and shouting at the screen thing - it was totally intentional. lol. I am good but the heat of New York City is making me go mad. I am feeling better I guess. Hope ur good and email me and let me know everything bro. I am here for you dude. Talk soon. x

Xico de Cadoro said...

thanks for visiting my blog, I love the beautiful images and layout you have, I'll take the time to read quietly your posts and get back to a true believer in romance, I believe I shall enjoy them...

kisses from Xico

dpstam said...

your story is turning out to be one of my favorite things to read this summer..

nice pictures! looking forward to the next part :)

Michael said...

seriously...the way u tell these stories is so simple, but with a huge impact. i feel like im watching one of those really good movies that makes u think differently afterwards, except im reading ur blog lol.

whats with the school changing thing? is that like a prep school thing?

secret blogger said...

response to comments -

Xico de Cadoro - thanks for stopping dude - read on and let me know what you think.

dpstam - awwww i hope u enjoy ur summer - and thanks for the compliments.

michael - i am so glad that my stories have such a huge impact. and its awesome that you think my blog is like a really good movie. (smiling). ya the school change thing is like you can go to a different prep school for two years before college or stay on in the same school. so i had to make a decision. lets see what i do in the next part.

haliaeetusguys said...

I've been following your latest posts with delight! Look forward to more. I plan to contact you on AIM as soon as I have a few more things behind me, such as an anti-virus program download and a couple of other items. We'll chat soon! - Volker

Anonymous said...

you can not possibly be american you talk like a brit or a canadian

secret blogger said...

response to comments -

haliaeetusguys - thanks dude - talk soon and keep reading.

anonymous - haha - good observation - i am american. but i have done a few years of exchange student thing in the UK and stuck with how they wrote. seriously at times i will even have this total british accent. lol. but good observation dude. keep commenting.

JohnnyCloverman said...

Dear Popular Dude/What's-your-name,

How are things today? I have an interest in learning about other people's lives and I happened to find your blog. I started from the beginning and, for the most part, read each blog.
God there's a lot of drama, lol. If I were the protestor, I'd tell you to come out and get it over with. Luckily, I'm Canadian so I can't actually be rude and overbearing...:P
It's interesting to read about this kind of life. It could be that you're not really this type of guy, which would be even more interesting! "Fantasies of a Female Geek".
I must confess that I haven't been known as the popular guy at school, since I was actually homeschooled for high school. I mean, I could be considered popular---in my mind alone, lol.
I haven't had the experience of flirting with what appears to be latinos in a hospital, nor latinas for that matter. Not have I gotten a thrill from aim, since I don't chat much (if I do I use MSN or Gmail).
I have experienced turning 21...I did so a few months ago. Shite, I couldn't believe it myself. Time has flown pass me because, according to New Agers, the vibrations of the Earth and Universe are being raised. It's better than thinking that the Universe is ending or I'm losing my mind to some form of multiple personality disorder.
Turning 21 made me think a bit more about the last 4 years. My grandmother passed away in April (a week after my birthday, no less) and so death seems all around (so many celebrities are kicking the bucket and not to mention tsunami and earthquake victims).
My teen years weren't lusting after my best friend, but mostly getting to know people online. I think that's very 21st Century of me, if I dare say so... I thought it'd be great to talk to someone from another part of the world and focus more on the life of the person (mind) rather on the physical aspect.
Going from a teen to a post-teen was not that different. I made my own classification system and stated that 16-24 is the new age range. Youthage, you know.
I guess we all have our own version of MLC (mid-life crisis). Many people wish they were kids again. I would only want to be a kid again to remember what they hell happened back then. I know I saw a ghost, but that's another story.
I'm wondering why gayness is such an issue. Why someone can become suddenly attracted to the same sex? And why we become addicted to thinking about the body of another person.
I wonder if we can overcome the addictions of our body. Why is sex so important? It's not "wrong", but it's not everything. We don't think about these things as children, so why do we thing about them afterward?
Is it just a deeper form of friendship? Do we want to be close to someone because it's always been that way?
Finding the bond is something special. We desire to bond with others because we're avoiding something or perhaps we want to learn something.
Sexual attraction can do both. Sometimes traumas in childhood cause us to be attracted or unattracted to a certain thing. Many theories say that how your parents treat you may determine your sexuality. Others say it's a chemical imbalance. Others say it's genetic and normal.
It could be a second childhood and we run to lovers as we used to run to a parent for safety. We enjoyed the protection.
What do you think? Are we to choose what our body and emotional state desires or can we overcome such boundaries? Can we learn to be another sexual orientation in the same way as we can learn to like a certain food or colour? What is the representation of sexuality in your mind? What does attraction to the same sex bring to you? What are you when everything is said and done? In death, would you cling onto sexuality or seek the wonders of existence?
Okay, there's my blog...:P



Grand said...

parts of your story reminds me of a friend i had in high school. unfortunately i havent talked to him in a long time. it was good times back then though

Shane said...

At least he doesn't seem like a total ass-hat anymore :)

Very interesting read. It's like a gay version of a certain teen-romance-movie

Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

You know, part 2 was kinda melancholic and part 3 was really upbeat and witty. Enjoying your posts a lot.

I hope you make a book or a indie movie or a broadway musical from your story because clearly it needs to be known to a much larger audience. It should be part of gay folklore!!

Hypnos said...

Amazing blog... So amazing story, I really like it, can't wait for more... Mine story is so different and more SECRET from this. Don't know, that flirt things will not exist here :(

secret blogger said...

Response to your comments -

JohnnyCloverman - Firstly, John Im sorry I can only give you my fake name - Jake Walsor - like it? Things are good today, I guess. And I love that you read from the beginning of the blog, cos thats what I do too. Canadian huh? And not rude and overbearing? hmmm..... I dont know about Fantasies of a female geek eh? Haha. And I love ur classification system - 18-24 - I feel good already. Dude this is more like a quarter life crisis. Dude here are the answers to your questions. Desire is something that we can overcome, but it requires sheer will and ultimate discipline which most people cannot deal with. I dont think we can learn to be another sexuality - I mean can you learn to grow a tail? I guess not. But I have a belief that nothing is impossible, it just depends on what you choose to make possible. The representation of sexuality in our society is that of stereotypes, "straight people are like this", "gay people are like this" - to me the representation of sexuality is beyond labels. The attraction to the same sex brings to me the same things that it brings to a person attracted to the opposite sex - I mean there are some aspects that are frustrating and annoying with same sex attraction - but I sometimes think that it makes me who I am. And people love this me - so why would I want to change it. There have been times when I have wished I was straight but there have been times when I am happy that I am gay cos I love the experiences. When everything is said and done, I am only a son, brother and a best friend and the most important, I am human. You see, we are all classified as animals in science - it is our conscience that makes us human. If you ask me there are very few humans in this world. And I am just proud to be human. In death, I would like to know that I have lived a happy life. Thanks for your essay - cos I love essay like comments. lol. Have fun dude and keep commenting.

Grand - I am glad I have made u nostalgic and I hope you talk to him again soon. Sometimes, the only thing that keeps us away from our loved ones is our stubborness. x

Shane - I am glad he does not seen like an ass anymore. And its awesome that you have likened my story to a movie. It makes me happy. And I wanna know what teen-movie it is - cos i wanna watch. please do let me know. x.

Rambunctious WhipperSnapper - I am glad u enjoy my posts - cos I love ur posts. And I am smiling cos I am flattered that you think me and my Brody's love story could be made into a book, movie or a broadway musical. Seriously I am really flattered and it makes me really happy. I wanna tell you a secret - I have always wondered about it but don't know if I ever will cos Im not out. And you top your compliments by saying it should be a part of a folklore. Thanks dude. x. Im thinking a gay version of Gossip Girl or The OC - whaddya think? lol.

Hypnos - I am glad you like my blog. And I am glad u like the story too.

meg said...

Your story is so sweet! You need to post the rest of it ASAP! Also, where did you find those paintings (I'm assuming) of men? I can't read the web address. They are beautiful.