Thursday, January 15, 2009

Heath Ledger - Gone a moment too soon



Its been nearly a year or so since Heath Ledger's death. The Brokeback Mountain heart-throb had brought so many people, gay and straight, to tears with the beautiful love story and removed boundaries and "people" regardless of their gender and sexuality cried. This movie was like Titanic or the Notebook and everyone loved it. 

But isn't it weird that people have already moved on? I mean they mentioned him a little bit in the Golden Globes and then thats it. News channels mention him a bit more and thats it. He is given a posthumous award for Best Supporting Actor and then people remember him for a few minutes and then they go about their own lives. People start laughing again. They thank each other. Dont get me wrong, Im not blaming anyone and point fingers at anyone. Im just trying to say that its weird and sad that life just goes on. People find a new reason to live...........

I remember thinking about Jake Gyllenhaal a lot during his death. Saying that he must have gone through a lot will be an understatement. Michelle Williams must have drowned in remorse and Mathilda just smiled on as she did not know that she had lost one of the most important people in her life. Heath would have always wanted to see her smile. 

The best line uttered by Michelle after Heath's death was, "Mathida will be brought up with the best memories of Heath". Nothing could have said "beautiful" in any other way than the she put it. Jake apparently stayed away from the press and when he returned to filming, there was a scene where the actors had to put photos of their better half in the locker (as part of the scene) and Jake put a photo of Heath. Everyone laughed but everyone felt the sadness and meaning of what Jake did................. 

Life has moved on.......... People has new things to look forward............ No one can watch the same news over and over again............ It gets stale and old............. We have given our five minutes worth of tears............. Once again, not pointing fingers but just showing what life is about.............. Am very proud of Heath's golden globe win for best supporting actor............... He deserved it................ Lets look at the glass with a half full view that even if it was for a moment, people remembered Heath again in that room................ 

If you believe in angels............ then know that Heath has turned into one of the most beautiful angel there is....... and he is looking over his daughter and smiling......... 

If you believe in life after death............... then know that Heath has found happiness in the other world that he was not able to find in this world..................... 

If you believe in reincarnation.............. then know that Heath has been born again in another beautiful form to live a new beautiful life and to carry on the goodness he earned in this life...........

If you believe only in what you see on this earth............... then know that Heath lived a beautiful life and like every one else's his too had dark clouds........... but be happy that you got the chance to witness the life of a beautiful human being................... 

If you believe in fighting for something and taking a stand............... then know that Heath has taken another step forward for gay rights.......... he has broken barriers and brought people of every sexuality to tears with a love story of two men being in love with each other........... 

Just believe.......... 

Stolen Glances

What should I blog about today? Hmmmm one thing I have not blogged about.......... the guys in my college. Im not gonna write about all the hot guys. Im gonna write about the guys that I think like me and the ones I like. 

I will start with this guy. Total All-American jock. 
I saw him the first few weeks of college. I was sitting at the girl's room and we were looking or doing something on the laptop. Then these two guys come into the room, looking for one of the girls. While the girl got ready, the two guys waited with the girl I was sitting and me. The total All-American jock sat on the floor and the black dude sat on the bed. Me and the girl I was sitting with started talking to them. In terms of looks, the jock is muscular, blonde and plays for our college football team. We just made conversation and told them that we were freshmen and they happened to be juniors. I looked at the jock and I saw him looking at me, he looked away and I looked away too. Then the other dude and I talked. Then the girl sitting with me and the dude talked. I looked away from her laptop and saw him looking at me again. He had that look on his face. That I-will-look-after-you-forever-and-I will-never-let-anyone-hurt-you look. lol Then we were talking to the dude sitting on the bed and the girl I was sitting with happened to know something about the black dude. Then I was like wait how do you know? And she was like cos he just told me like few minutes ago. I was like oh. (wait I am getting somewhere with this). Then the jock laughs and looks at me and makes them "freaky how does she know" face. And just laughs. I laugh too. The jock asked us if any of us were business majors. I told him I was and he asked me I had started any classes yet and I said no. Then we just sat there and we were all just talking. I would look away from the conversation and find him looking at me. I had to go back my dorm so I like did the "pound" with the other dude and shook the jocks hand. I was about to do the gangsta handshake but then the jock pulled away. So it made it look like I was touching his palms. It was so embarrassing. 
I saw him around college a couple of times. There have been many times but from the ones I remember have been in the morning when I had to go to the library to get something. He was walking out of the library. I got really nervous so pretended to look back to see if anyone else was coming. It was only the two of us. We were walking towards each other and I see him turning around to check if anyone was coming. I guess we both felt nervous.  Then one day I had just come back form a party with a friend of mine and went to his dorm. He happened to be there. The whole time I was there, he tried his hardest not to look at me. I mean even when he was talking to my friend and I was standing right there but I could tell he was just trying his hardest to not look at me. Then one day I was walking in to the library and got to the point where the computers are. I saw someone looking at me, just kept on staring at me and I looked up and saw the jock just staring. I looked away and just dint look bak. I made that nonchalant face. 
Then I dont think I saw him that semester. Then was the winter break and I had to take a semester off cos I was ill. I went back this semester and did not know if I would see him. 
I was at the cafe and then I spotted a group of guys sitting and talking. One of them was the jock himself. I dint know if he would still remember me. Somewhere inside I hoped he would. A few days later I was in the cafe and was standing with one of my friends waiting for food. And then someone called my friends name. I looked up and it was him. He looked at me and I looked away. We were still waiting for food and he was waiting too. I dint look at him as I wanted to look like I did not care so I dont know if he was looking at me or not. A few days later on my way to class I saw him walking with my friend. From across the road I talked to my friend and he just looked on. Then a few days later as I walked the same route to my class from my dorm, I saw him walking towards his car and he just kept looking at me. Then one day as I was walking towards my dorm, I saw him walking towards my dorm building too. I just walked on and quickly forgot that he was walking behind me. Then after walking in front of him for a few minutes, I looked back and he was walking towards his car. Then one day as I was walking to my class, I saw someone and looked back, and saw him looking and he just kept looking and did not look away.
I have seen him a few more times. And I know he has seen me. I dont know if anything will ever happen between us. I hope he asks me out someday. Or some night? I hope he makes the first move. lol. And when he does I hope I dont run away like i have done so many times. 

I will blog about the other guys as soon. 

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Much ado about Brody


yo dudes!!!!!! i had written some more parts to the story of Brody and me and had saved it in an encrypted folder but I pressed on the delete archive button by mistake and have lost everything I had saved for this blog. It was not a lot in terms of writing but definitely a lot of pictures for this blog. im sorry but i dont want think about me and Brody for now. And to write the next part, I will have to think about Brody again. I have kinda lost the loving feeling. Very cynical about love right now. So not the best time to write a love story. 

After one of the posts, I think titled "Dudes of New York", I got a lot of flak for being so full of myself and all that. And I prepared a statement that I had intended to post but everything got deleted like I said. So I dont wanna write what I had written again but I just wanna say that if you dont like what Im writing then dont read it. Im not forcing you visit my blog and you are not paying me to read it. This is me, this is who i am, and i am not going to start changing myself so that you will be rightfully entertained. So go suck on something, cos I dont really care. Yes, I talked a lot about people looking at me on that post and how people check me out, but that is all I am doing right now. Maybe you would be more satisfied, if I had gone the full way, and after being checked out had asked him for his number or had rushed somewhere and had sex and then blogged about it to satisfy a fantasy for you while you get busy with your hands. Im sorry. That is not me. And if in terms of action all I am getting is being "checked out" then I will blog about it. And I am a bit too traditional and have too much dignity for myself to throw myself at every guy who checks me out. I am more secure than that and dont need to be humped to or hump someone to make me feel secure. 

I am glad thats out of the way. 

I have not been around for the past few months cos i had college and was too busy with it. And free time was spent with friends or just surfing the net. College is good and people are great. In terms of romance, I am left unfulfilled. Have I ever talked about the boys in my college? I mean the ones I like? And the ones that I think like me? I will probably do that in the next post. 

By the way I am looking forward to receive emails from people. So feel free to email me. 

I recently started talking to another blogger "dieseljocknyc" and now I cant find his blog. Dude, if you are reading this then write to me cos I would love to talk more. What happened? Why did you delete your blog? Hows ur son? I hope everything is ok.

And that music on my blog was great for a little bit, but hearing it over and over again is just annoying. So here is a great music from the movie, "Slumdog millionaire" and this track is titled Latika's theme.