Thursday, January 15, 2009

Stolen Glances

What should I blog about today? Hmmmm one thing I have not blogged about.......... the guys in my college. Im not gonna write about all the hot guys. Im gonna write about the guys that I think like me and the ones I like. 

I will start with this guy. Total All-American jock. 
I saw him the first few weeks of college. I was sitting at the girl's room and we were looking or doing something on the laptop. Then these two guys come into the room, looking for one of the girls. While the girl got ready, the two guys waited with the girl I was sitting and me. The total All-American jock sat on the floor and the black dude sat on the bed. Me and the girl I was sitting with started talking to them. In terms of looks, the jock is muscular, blonde and plays for our college football team. We just made conversation and told them that we were freshmen and they happened to be juniors. I looked at the jock and I saw him looking at me, he looked away and I looked away too. Then the other dude and I talked. Then the girl sitting with me and the dude talked. I looked away from her laptop and saw him looking at me again. He had that look on his face. That I-will-look-after-you-forever-and-I will-never-let-anyone-hurt-you look. lol Then we were talking to the dude sitting on the bed and the girl I was sitting with happened to know something about the black dude. Then I was like wait how do you know? And she was like cos he just told me like few minutes ago. I was like oh. (wait I am getting somewhere with this). Then the jock laughs and looks at me and makes them "freaky how does she know" face. And just laughs. I laugh too. The jock asked us if any of us were business majors. I told him I was and he asked me I had started any classes yet and I said no. Then we just sat there and we were all just talking. I would look away from the conversation and find him looking at me. I had to go back my dorm so I like did the "pound" with the other dude and shook the jocks hand. I was about to do the gangsta handshake but then the jock pulled away. So it made it look like I was touching his palms. It was so embarrassing. 
I saw him around college a couple of times. There have been many times but from the ones I remember have been in the morning when I had to go to the library to get something. He was walking out of the library. I got really nervous so pretended to look back to see if anyone else was coming. It was only the two of us. We were walking towards each other and I see him turning around to check if anyone was coming. I guess we both felt nervous.  Then one day I had just come back form a party with a friend of mine and went to his dorm. He happened to be there. The whole time I was there, he tried his hardest not to look at me. I mean even when he was talking to my friend and I was standing right there but I could tell he was just trying his hardest to not look at me. Then one day I was walking in to the library and got to the point where the computers are. I saw someone looking at me, just kept on staring at me and I looked up and saw the jock just staring. I looked away and just dint look bak. I made that nonchalant face. 
Then I dont think I saw him that semester. Then was the winter break and I had to take a semester off cos I was ill. I went back this semester and did not know if I would see him. 
I was at the cafe and then I spotted a group of guys sitting and talking. One of them was the jock himself. I dint know if he would still remember me. Somewhere inside I hoped he would. A few days later I was in the cafe and was standing with one of my friends waiting for food. And then someone called my friends name. I looked up and it was him. He looked at me and I looked away. We were still waiting for food and he was waiting too. I dint look at him as I wanted to look like I did not care so I dont know if he was looking at me or not. A few days later on my way to class I saw him walking with my friend. From across the road I talked to my friend and he just looked on. Then a few days later as I walked the same route to my class from my dorm, I saw him walking towards his car and he just kept looking at me. Then one day as I was walking towards my dorm, I saw him walking towards my dorm building too. I just walked on and quickly forgot that he was walking behind me. Then after walking in front of him for a few minutes, I looked back and he was walking towards his car. Then one day as I was walking to my class, I saw someone and looked back, and saw him looking and he just kept looking and did not look away.
I have seen him a few more times. And I know he has seen me. I dont know if anything will ever happen between us. I hope he asks me out someday. Or some night? I hope he makes the first move. lol. And when he does I hope I dont run away like i have done so many times. 

I will blog about the other guys as soon. 


Aek said...

Wow, it's like watching you two play phone tag or a weird tango. I hope someone makes a move soon. :)

Steevo said...

Why does HE hafta make the 1st move?

What's the deal here? You have a common friend it seems, so r u deep in th closet or shy as hell?

So jr hi! LOL but w/e...

if your observations r correct, he at least likes to look at u. But how will he ever get a chance to "ask u out" if you keep ignoring him and looking away? a puzzlement!!!

When i was at uni, mid 90s, this was not such an issues as it seems to be today. Maybe cuz so many queers are out and visible the str8 boys have gotten all paranoid or ??? I understand that the new design for men's showers is individual showers for privacy. What fun is that?

Makes me feel old. FFS!!!

David said...

DITTO WHAT STEEVO SAID. Be a little daring, because maybe HE's waiting for YOU to do something. or at least say hi! it can't hurt :P

and i agree with the showers. wtf is with individual showers??!

borg_queen said...

lol reminds me of my high school a decade ago.

secret blogger said...

dude i know its very jr hi. its ridiculous. most people that know me would not describe as shy, cos im more of the opposite extreme. but yes I am deep in the closet.

I know steevo the whole looking away thing makes me mad too. but like i said i just gotta stop running away.

lol. u know wat this semester if he looks at me, I will look at him too. I wont look away........... at least i will try.

lets see what happens.

Anonymous said...

maybe you need to make a list of what to do or say when u 2 see each other. Ask other gay guys here what they have done in the past to overcome this challenge. Read it often so that when you do see him you can remember options. The panic is normal in your situation. So practice what to say... or do.

DieseljockNYC said...

I am just now catching up on reading a few blogs. Thanks for the visual stimulation right before I hit the gym. Yum.

Thirty3 Naked Laydies said...

Oh geez! The both of you have got to stop with the games. He's looked at you, and you've looked at him. DONE! Now talk! You don't have to be seen in public sucking face... but for Pete's sake, just say hi and break the ice. One of you have to man-up and just display civility. You clearly know who eachother are. Display familiarity.

thetruthaboutjay said...

Don't you love this game? I tend to like it but then for some reason the chase is always so much better than the catch. They tend to only look good from a distance. mostly because it's harder to see crazy from far away. ;-) let's catch up soon brosef.