Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Baring my thoughts to them

Dude, lot has happened in the last few weeks. I got a lot braver but not entirely.

I decided I wanted to contact two of the guys that I had been talking about. But I was too scared to contact them from my real email id or my real facebook. So I made a fake one. My thought was that if I described to them the glances, and if they were thinking about the same thing then they would know who I am. And they could choose to respond to the message. And if they choose not to respond then no harm done. And they would have no proof that I mailed them.

The two guys I sent the message to were All American Jock and Hottie. I am not going to post the message up here but it basically outlined the glances and I told him I liked him. I also gave him the option to either reply or just not reply if I had wrongly assumed. I also told him that we should start by being friends or whatever. I told him that it took a lot of guts for me to write to him. Then I left the ball on their court. I also made it clear that I did not have a crush on them. I only liked them and that was it.

Hottie did not reply back. And after waiting for about 5 days, I basically wrote to him telling him to forget that I wrote to him and that it was a big mistake. The first time I wrote to him was during the evening and earlier the same day, I had passed by him. I saw him glance at me then he looked away. So seeing that I mailed him later the same day, I think he knows that it was me. I dont know why he chose to not write to me. Maybe he never liked me. Maybe he was pissed off that I always looked away when he looked at me for a few months. Maybe he is scared to reply. I dont know and Im over it.

All American Jock did reply back. He was really nice. I dont know if he was lying or telling the truth but he told me that he never thought about that at all and that he was interested in a girl at our university. Then he gave me the option of revealing myself to him and asked me if I was a boy or a girl. I laughed at that and I told him that it should have been clear. I dont think he knows who I am cos we have not had our glances for quite a while now. So I dont think he knows. I did not tell him who I was but I did make it clear to him that I was not a stalker and it was not a crush but just that I liked him. I thought it was very nice of him to tell me that he does not have anything against gay people and that one of his best friends growing up was gay. I dont know if he was lying or whatever or if the best friend he was talking about is himself. I told him to give his best friend a message that was basically a short summary of my post "An Idol who is gay". I also told him to tell his best friend that being gay was only a part of him and not the whole of him and that who he decides to share his bed with does not define who he is. I also told him that the 300 Spartan warriors were gay and that Alexander the great was gay too. He might tell his best friend the message or if he is gay then it will be good for him to hear it too. I told him to not worry about the whole email and just forget it. I also told him to not be paranoid and that I was no stalker and that it was not a crush. And that it was not a prank. He told me that I could reveal myself to him whenever I wanted to do it and that I could talk to him if I ever needed to. I told him to talk to me whenever he needed to as well. I have seen him around our school. We just walk by each other unknowingly.
I dont know if I will be emailing anyone else anytime soon. But whatever I am still who I am and I am still going on.

I am still waiting to hear from Steevo. Steevo dude I need suggestions about the thing I mentioned on my previous post.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Exciting responses

Dear dudes,

A lot has happened and I want to tell you all about it. But I need to go to class so Im gonna keep it short for now. I will blog about it soon. First I need to thank the people who commented on my last post and I have a few responses to it.

Steevo, dude you give the best advice ever. I love that idea of working at a restaurant where wealthy gay men go for dinner. Do you have any suggestions? Steevo let me know if you know of any restaurants like that in New York or LA. I am gonna spend my summer in those two cities.

Thanks for all the other comments too.

Keep reading I will blog soon.