Sunday, June 21, 2009

Dave Graham - My Idol Who Is Gay

As the summer wind blows, I look out the window and I see life. Life that continues on, repeating itself. Hiding itself. Revealing itself. Reveling in itself.

Pitter Patter Pitter Patter raindrops hit New York buildings really hard.

Every drop like the next one after it. Every drop like the one before it..............

Then once in a while comes a person who breaks out of this repetition that life has forced on us. One such person is Dave Graham or David Graham. He was a contestant on the Australian Big Brother. He came out during the show.

You may be thinking "Why is he my idol when there have been lots and lots of contestants on the Big Brother show, all over the world, who have been gay?"

My answer: There have been tons of people who are gay on Big Brother everywhere. There are more people on TV who are gay. But the reason he is my idol, is not because he is gay.

On the TV show he was not afraid to show his emotions. He was not afraid to tell his housemates and the viewers watching the show, that he hoped the one he loved would be waiting for him when he came out of the house. He was not afraid to put a photo of his lover next to him and stare at it, in front of millions of viewers. He showed the world not what it was to be gay, but that there is no difference between heterosexual love and homosexual love. He showed the world that just because someone was gay did not mean that they were a deviant. Straight viewers saw the longing, the uncertainty, the vulnerability, the heartache and the fondness he felt for his lover and made those viewers realize that there was no difference but a stark similarity between straight love and gay love.

The other contestants threw a barrage of questions at him and he in turn, answered all of their curiosities and gave them a reason to remove their confusion and doubts. He was unabashed by questions about sex between two men and explained to his heterosexual housemate that "men's assholes are built for sex, and just intercourse between two men without jerking off the bottom's penis can make them both have orgasms". When asked if he did not find the asshole dirty, his response was "I have found stuff in a women's vagina more times than I have found something in a men's asshole. Rarely do i find anything in a men's asshole". Trust me, he helped clear a lot of the questions I had in my mind too.

You see, a lot of people who try reality TV end up thinking that just being GAY will be a STATEMENT and give them a personality through which they can survive on the show. But little do they realize that doing so only makes me people see the word GAY. Its like a straight person going on TV and telling people what kind of person fat/thin/blonde/brunette they like having sex with and hoping that their preference of hair color or body shape will give them a personality. (I hope what I just said makes sense, Im not a great writer).

I have time and again maintained that being gay is only a part of what makes a person. It is not the whole person. I hope people still remember that. I hope kids who find my blog while sitting in their rooms with their doors locked and hearts racing will remember it too. Dont let anyone tell you otherwise.

Just google Dave Graham or look for the videos on youtube.


smitty said...

I loved David on Big Brother and I was so upset when he was evicted. He was one of the few people that was truly himself and not, to over quote the show, playing the game.

Aek said...

That second clip was interesting. It's good to see 2 guys talk about it frankly. "If a guy doesn't have a foreskin then yeah you'd have to use lube." Lol, I think it's probably a good idea to use lube anyway for anal sex.

I like their convo towards the end. It just seems so frank and open, and people rarely have convos like that.

bobbywaveboi said...

very cute.. i never seen the show

goleftatthefork said...

great post and wow what a smile he has

Mark said...


DC Guy said...

I think you actually are a pretty good writer, for the record.

LJ said...

I love gay guys that don't seem obviously gay and talk about it in such an open and frank way that it seems as though its just a regular conversation starter :P

Mercutio said...

thanks for introducing me to this guy -- interesting and engaging, and plenty to say

Amaury said...

Gay Men's Boot Camp...just AWESOME!! This program is the best one I know...It keeps you in a great shape. SHOULD TRY IT TOO.

Thirty3 Naked Laydies said...

babes, we could not agree more. and you've done it again >> a truly, beautifully written entry. thank you for sharing... and opening more eyes.

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Anonymous said...

LOL. Apparently, depictions of anal sex - heterosexual - is one of the fastest-growing segments of the porn industry.
I am not a fan of anal sex, at all, but I would like to know why it is that anal sex has such a bad rap for homosexuals when it seems to be so popular for heterosexuals.
Just another in the long list of unjustifiable prohibitions. Quiffs.

Mike said...

I don't do anal sex, and with that said, I don't understand why so many gay men have to admit they do it. I thought what goes on in private is supposed to be left there. I find it very discouraging that people can't keep their mouths shut, and straight people have to assume that all of us gay men are into anal. That is not the case.

Mike said...

P.S. And I resent that he said, "men's assholes are built for sex". He's trying to put all of us queers into one box. It's homophobia at its worst. He's not a spokesperson for all of us.

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Farmer Dave's Web Guy said...

It takes a while for some things to bubble to the surface of Google. Dave would be very flattered. (He is currently in LA on a secret project with Michael - his fiancé)
More info about Dave can be found on and the missing video's on
of facebook

Viagra said...

David is great from Big Brother. No wonder he's your idol!

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